Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. Mark Twain
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything That makes you smile.
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn’t want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
Just because you’re taught that something’s right and everyone believes it’s right, it don’t make it right.
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it’s that they know so many things that just aren’t so.
If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.
His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.
How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how]hard it is to undo that work again!
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your friends.
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.
To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press’s speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we.’
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
In religion and politics, people’s belief’s and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.
When the human race has once acquired a superstition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.
The Most Inspiring Mark Twain Quotes
Imagine, if you will, that I am an idiot. Then, imagine that I am also a Congressman. But, alas, I repeat myself.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If you want to change the future, you must change what you’re doing in the present.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Most people can’t bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
You can’t break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You’ve got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Stripping away the irrational, the illogical, and the impossible, I am left with atheism. I can live with that.
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman – And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.
The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.
College is a place where a professor’s lecture notes go straight to the students’ lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
The Bible has noble poetry in it… and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.
I hope you enjoyed these Mark Twain quotes on success. Do let us know which one was your favorite in the comments section below.
